Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Top Ten Reasons Why Dating a Comedian is Better Than Dating a Musician (with Comedian Response)

Today, we present to you our own top ten reasons why dating a comedian is better than dating a musician, written by a Comix employee married to a comedian, with responses (in parentheses) by a Comix employee that is a comedian.

If you have any to add, let us know!

10. No equipment lugging, thank heavens (though there is emotional baggage).

9. You don't end up deaf at the end of the night (though you will wish you could “unhear” that bit about pussyfarts).

8. You don’t have to hear long, drawn out stories with weak punchlines just because they sang “Free Bird” (Comedians just tell long, drawn out stories. And then apologize for not having a point.)

7. You don’t have to learn all the words to the songs and sing along with them at his shows.

6. When he tries out new songs/material on you, you’re not awkwardly staring at the ground while he strums a guitar and sings soulfully (instead, you’re talking about something serious like your fear of mortality, and he stares off into the void as if really contemplating what you said, then tries a “how bout these McGriddles” bit on you again.)

5. Even if the show is horrible, he’ll only be up there for like, 10 minutes max (but you’ll have to wait 30 minutes more than you though you would while the host talks to his mom onstage).

4. You don’t have to help him come up with lame rhymes to words like “struggle” and “heart”. (but you will have to think seriously about whether it’s funnier to reference Jersey Shore or Olive Garden in a bit that is borderline racist)

3. You do get to come up with funny observations about movies and etc and so on. (but you will be judged if they’re kind of hack.)

2. Comedians don’t take themselves so damn seriously. (unless they’re John Mayer)

1. Funny is sexy. (is it?! I’ve been going about this all wrong.)
(If comedy were a drug, it’d give old people a four hour erection! What’s the deal with those pills??)


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