Screw You, Valentine's Day

In order to celebrate Judah Friedlander's triumphant and romantic return to Comix this Valentine's Day, we would like to present to you our favorite Valentine's poems by blogger Pamie, who is brilliant and twisted. Almost as brilliant and twisted as Judah, or as Valentine's Day itself.

Sometimes
goodbye
is the only word left to say.
...So how come you keep talking after you said it?
Like, a lot. Like, a lot a lot!
I think you wanted to drag it out until today so that you could get a present.
That's pretty crafty.
So I got you this mini Nano.
It's pink.
Now, BYE.

Oh, you wanted a Valentine?
Oh.
No, it's just...
I thought you were better than that.
Like, I thought you were confident and strong and didn't need some corporate bullshit proof that you're special to someone.
Oh, so now you're not going to talk to me?
What do you mean, you don't believe me?
Okay, I'm broke!
Damn, woman.

I really like your hair like that.
Have you lost weight?

I was wrong, you were right.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Hey, asshole.
Hope you're enjoying
a very
l o n e l y
holiday.
Still happy you slept with that flight attendant?


Dear Hipster Valentine o' Mine.
Your t-shirts aren't funny.
And I hate your blog.
I'm dumping your emo ass,
But I'm keeping the dog.