Punny Tattoos

Here at Comix, we love a good pun, and we love a good tattoo, but we never thought to put them together. Thank god these people did. Here is a collection of the best pun tattoos, via Buzzfeed.

Blogger note: before blogging for Comix I was a therapist (yeah, I know!), and my big plan was to get a Rorschach inkblot tattoed on my back, so that when people asked what it was, I could say "I don't know, what do you think it is?" Badump bump. I decided against getting a tattoo for joke purposes; these people did not.

I Love an Open Mic

Here are some of our favorite tweets from this week's installment of I Love an Open Mic by Carol Hartsell. If you're unaware, @carolrhartsell attends the Ochi's Motel open mic every week (Monday at 6:30 and 9:30) and tweets her favorite lines/makes fun of it.

Seriously, if you want some live, anything-could-happen entertainment, go to an open mic. And if you go to one open mic, go to our open mic Mondays at 6:30 and 9:30.

Nice suicide/grammar joke. Hanged or hung? #iloveanopenmic

"In my last relationship, I never made my girlfriend cry so I never felt like it was a real relationship. #iloveanopenmic

"Brown sugar goes straight to your ass and talks through the movie." #iloveanopenmic

Neil Charles: We don't need to ban gay marriage. We need to ban people who shit at work. #nobletruths #iloveanopenmic

Walked back in Ochi's to hear, "Hash mark: Giant bucket of cocks!" #nonsequitors #iloveanopenmic

"Our dungeon master is another comedian named Jared." #everyoneinthistaleisunfuckable #iloveanopenmic

"A guy flew a plane into the IRS building in Austin. I'm sorry I have to end on that." #closers #iloveanopenmic

"There are 78 black judges in America and 77 of them are on TV." #nobletruths #iloveanopenmic

Life's Tough for Facebookers...

If you're like us, you have a lot of time to waste on Facebook. Here are some things to NOT post...

Via Failbooking.com:

Life's Tough when one of your parents...

...is a dog.

Life's Tough if this is your biggest fear...

Our last post about Jurassic Park Fan Fiction Erotica should probably be taken down, otherwise this will happen...

Life's Tough for people on sleds...

I was working on a really involved blog post about Top Ten Ways to Know You're on a Bad Show (the list was gonna end all sassy: "10. You're not performing at COMIX!") but then I found a bunch of sledding fails on urlesque:

Laugh More at The Oscars

It's time for Kambri Crews' annual free Oscar watch party at Comix. She came up with the 1st drink name called "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire Gin & Tonic" and her friend Julie Reed suggested "The Blind Sidecar" reminding us why this is our favorite time of year.

There will be $5 drafts, $6 bottled beer, $7 well drinks and $18 draft beer pitchers along with those fun specialty cocktails and food specials like:

CalaMarlee Matlin
Lord of the Wings
Whoopi GoldBurger

And more!

You'll have the newly revamped Copper Room and the Comix Theatre to enjoy with big flat screen TVs showing nothing but the Oscars. They’ll have ballots for sale with chances to win lots of great prize packages given out during commercial breaks. Even if you show up late, you won't be out of the running to go home with a prize.

Brush up on your trivia, too, for even MORE chances to win.

Doors open at 6:30 and seating is first come, first serve for those who have RSVPd.

Doors will open to the general public once the Oscars begin at 8:00 PM.

Everyone is welcome, so invite anyone and everyone who loves the movies!

**Please RSVP to kcrews@comixny.com with your name and number of party in attendance **

Life's Tough for comedians on snow days...

Hey guys, this was my first headlining set at Comix.

I think I did pretty well, considering. So for all you naysayers who thought I was just a one-liner comic who would never make it past a tight five...

Get ready to EAT YOUR WORDS!

Also, in case you missed it...This is how Andy Kindler responded to the snow day:

WEATHERMAN FREAKS!

Life's Great for our regulars!

The March Comedy Madness Finalists are on the Like2Laugh website!

Go here to vote for your favorite and you might see him or her live in March:

http://like2laugh.com/comics/

Some of the candidates who regularly perform in Ochi's or on our main stage include:

Harrison Greenbaum
Calise Hawkins
Calvin Cato
Chelsea White
Dan Wilbur
Eric I
Grant Gordon
Jessie Geller
John Morrison
Louis Katz
and many more!

CHECK IT OUT!

Screw You, Valentine's Day

In order to celebrate Judah Friedlander's triumphant and romantic return to Comix this Valentine's Day, we would like to present to you our favorite Valentine's poems by blogger Pamie, who is brilliant and twisted. Almost as brilliant and twisted as Judah, or as Valentine's Day itself.

Sometimes
goodbye
is the only word left to say.
...So how come you keep talking after you said it?
Like, a lot. Like, a lot a lot!
I think you wanted to drag it out until today so that you could get a present.
That's pretty crafty.
So I got you this mini Nano.
It's pink.
Now, BYE.

Oh, you wanted a Valentine?
Oh.
No, it's just...
I thought you were better than that.
Like, I thought you were confident and strong and didn't need some corporate bullshit proof that you're special to someone.
Oh, so now you're not going to talk to me?
What do you mean, you don't believe me?
Okay, I'm broke!
Damn, woman.

I really like your hair like that.
Have you lost weight?

I was wrong, you were right.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Hey, asshole.
Hope you're enjoying
a very
l o n e l y
holiday.
Still happy you slept with that flight attendant?


Dear Hipster Valentine o' Mine.
Your t-shirts aren't funny.
And I hate your blog.
I'm dumping your emo ass,
But I'm keeping the dog.

Life's Tough when you wanted sports instead of weather...

When I first saw this I thought Andy Kindler's character from Home Movies got a job as a weatherman.

Too obscure? This is like the movie Network except there's less of a point:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Life's Tough when you fantasize about dinosaurs...

Special thanks (?) to Emily Gordon for discovering this:

Jurassic Park Erotic Fan Fiction
(Viewer Discretion advised. Seriously. If you enjoy the idea, look a the homepage...if you enjoy long descriptions of dinosaur mating, click the archives)

http://ijpeffwa.friendsofsmash.co.uk/archives.html

Oh no! People wish dinosaurs existed for much different reasons than I thought!

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
"He was normally as patient as a stone and would spend hours, even days at a time rooted to the spot, silently waiting for his quarry to show up so that he could decorate his lion skull cabin with more lion skulls"

"Even through his dislocated muscle, she could feel the bulge! She grinned, as all velociraptors are pretty much forced to do because of their bone structure, and with one deft flick of her curved toe claw she tore through the lining of his pants"

WOW.

Life's Tough when you run out of things to search on youtube

Today's search: I did "extreme"+ "Sheep Herding"

Too bad it's a commercial...

If that's not funny enough, here are our favorite inspirational posters via Listoftheday.blogspot.com:

Life's Tough if you didn't make it to March Comedy Madness Audition...

It was unanimous:
The March Comedy Madness audition was a fantastic chance to get seen by the booker and owner of Comix, the Like2Laugh staff, and comedy peers in New York City.

Over 200 comedians showed up to perform one minute of stand-up in front of six judges and 20 other comics. Maybe it was nervousness, but it was the first time a group of 20 comedians actually laughed at each other (and at an early morning competition no less!).

Two seasoned New York comics, Danny Solomon and Michael Lawrence had this to say:

Bryan Kennedy, the producer of the competition was also pleased:

One comedian showed up at 5:45 am to be first (the audition started at 9:00 am), but Comix opened its doors so comedians did not have to stand out in the cold for hours. This led to tons of comedians filling up our bar, meeting new people, and talking to old friends instead of going directly to their day jobs. What a good break! Even if people didn't make the cut, the audition seemed to be fun for everyone.

And what was the actual audition like? Here's one with Morgan Venticinque.